New mums get together for coffee and a chat; what do they talk about?
You will see new mums in north London congregating in packs, with huge buggies, breastfeeding pillows, designer nappy bags and of course, little babies in tow. It is a mission to leave the house, so they will sit for hours chatting the day away whilst feeding, rocking, changing and getting on with looking after their babies. But what do new mums talk about?
In our postnatal courses, often weeks will go by without any mention of ‘life outside babies’. We don’t often talk career paths, current events, interests or anything beyond becoming a mum and what that entails. But that is okay. In fact, it is to be expected. New mums are focussed on their new offspring and often just ‘getting through the day’ is a challenge enough in itself.
Our most commonly heard mum topics of conversation:
1) Sleepless nights – being tired as a new mum is a given. But how tired you are, is anything but. Often the amazement of how crippling being sleep deprived can be is the main topic, as opposed to the fact itself. Following on from sleepless nights is how many times in the night your baby wakes, what times, how long it takes them to settle, and whether or not your partner wakes up too. Don’t forget the key topic: WHO is the most sleep deprived between the two of you. Mum trumps of course!
2) Birth stories – if you sit down with a new mum, she will often tell you her birth story. It is a badge of honour getting through childbirth, and mums are rightly proud of their achievements. How quickly it progresses, inductions, epidurals and how partners coped during the delivery are all part of the conversation. It doesn’t really matter if you don’t want to hear about it; rest assured, you still will!
3) Feeding – why is there such a minefield of opinions about how you feed your baby? Breastfeeding is no longer straightforward; the media has caught on and controversial stories of mums not being allowed to breastfeed are becoming the norm. Then on the flipside, celebrities (e.g. Gwen Stefani) are posting selfies to ‘normalize’ breastfeeding (as if anything celebrities do is normal) and you are left wondering how it all became so complicated! Mums do like to talk about their feeding choices: whether they felt guilty or not, how long they ‘lasted’ when breastfeeding, how their baby is thriving on formula etc.
4) Baby milestones – is your baby smiling, rolling, sitting up, laughing yet? When are you starting weaning? Watch out mums, this can get competitive (for no good reason); don’t get stressed over your baby’s every move, they will develop in their own time.
5) Poo and other fun stuff – from colour to quantity, this will make its way into the conversation. As much as you may try to avoid it, it does come up. Spitting up is another good one…
6) How you are coping – everyone from health visitors to mothers-in-law will want to know your every thought about motherhood. How are you finding it? It is what you expected? Are you loving every minute of it or finding it overwhelming? When mums get together however, sometimes this topic gets forgotten about or brushed under the carpet. Many mums want to appear that they are handling it all really well, even when they may not be. We encourage mums to talk about coping, getting help if needed, de-cluttering and learning how to become a mother – after all, it may not come easy to some.
Of course, the list could go on and on. Some mums like to get personal and find out exactly what (or what isn’t) going on in the bedroom and inevitably talk will turn to going back to work and when you will have your second. What do you and your mummy friends like to talk about?
Meet other new mums in North London!
To make a whole new set of mummy friends to chat with, book our next course!
Crouch End course starts on 9 September and East Finchley course starts on 8 October. Book here!